economist of words

Recently fired by The Village Voice, self-proclaimed "Dean of American Rock Critics" Robert Christgau has agreed to write a series of capsule reviews of current events for Write It Like Disaster. (These would have been published Friday, but our editors spent three days trying to decipher them. They were unsuccessful.)

Tony Blair - The once-young hearthrob of Labour will come down from office, but did he jump or was he pushed? The kids want to rock and they want a timetable, but we foresee tears before bedtime when it’s not close to midnight and his Texan friend gets to stay up all night. B+

September 11th - Five years on, the media devours its own tail and tales, the Ghost of Walt Disney weeps at propaganda wars while architects dream impossible and widows fill up next year’s remainder bins with their memoirs. Is this all we’ve got to show? Five-year old children with this little progress are called devlopmentally disabled. C

Sudan - States fail. Darfur threatens to be the next Rwanda; the African Union helps it live up to its potential. Bonus points if you know which are the Islamists: the government, the Janjaweed, or the rebels. B-

Richard Armitage /Valerie Plame- You can’t plug a leak three years after the fact. *

Mexico - Fox keeps leadership in the den as our Southern neighbor’s electoral tribunal finally delivers the result its fans always said it was capable of, but don’t count Lopez Obrador out: he thinks the population will say no mas on his behalf. D

Ellen Degeneres Hosts the Oscars - Fumbling through talk-show hosts like Richard Nixon’s special prosecutors, the Academy Awards land on a rep who will make housewives and Mill on the Floss fans cheer, but don’t expect Brokeback boycotters til the cows come home. B+