brit departure

To: All Wire Services Subscribers

Due to cutbacks, our staff has recently been downsized, reducing the number of stories we make available. Please note that the following article may be used in your newspaper to cover Britney Spears leaving the Promises Treatment Center or the British troops withdrawing from Iraq. Required editorial choices are marked by parentheses.

(BAGHDAD/HOLLYWOOD) -- An already unstable situation will become more fraught with peril as sources suggest Brit(ish/ney) will be returning home sooner than expected.

Although there is no established timetable for withdrawal from (Iraq/rehabilitation), most experts think the situation is not yet improved from the chaotic mess it has recently become.

Things have deteriorated to the point where the much maligned (Saddam Hussein/Kevin Federline) has lately been reconsidered by critics, and is now judged to have been a stabilizing influence on (Iraq/Spears). This marks a great shift from the low public opinion of him during the nadir of his popularity around the time of his (dictatorship/rap album).

The ongoing conflict continues to raise questions about who will eventually get custody of (Kurdish oil reserves/Sean and Jayden).

Recently, (U.S./Us) sources have pointed to the heavy influence of (Iran/Isaac Cohen) in what have become increasingly erratic behavior and violent situations.

This past weekend, a tragic (car bomb blast that killed 62/haircut) caught headlines and suggested a complete breakdown was imminent, despite claims to the contrary by (Dick Cheney/Spears' publicist) who seems increasingly out-of-touch with his (country/client).

The next few months are sure to be a depressing time for (Iraq/Spears). Once known as (the cradle of civilization/a member of the Mickey Mouse Club), she has lately been associated with despair and scandal, as symbolized to the whole world by the distribution of pictures of her tortured and shaved (prisoners/vagina) being displayed in the confines of (Abu Ghraib/her limousine).