the price of love

Subliminal Messages of Common Valentine's Day Gifts

A Dozen Roses: Hey Ugly, I figured your co-workers would rather look at this vase full of flowers than your ugly face on this special day. When you get home, we need to talk.

Box of Chocolates: Hey Fatty, I am always disgusted by your morbid obesity, but since it is Valentine's Day, I thought I would indulge you and send you some chocolates to stuff into your fat fat face.

Diamond Pendant: Hey Bossy, I saw this diamond and thought of you, because our relationship makes me feel as imprisoned as a slave-labor diamond miner in a conflict region of Africa.

Scented Candle: Hey Boring, I don't think you have much of a personality. Also, you kind of smell bad. Happy Valentine's Day!

Fancy Dinner: Hey Vapid, You're not very interesting to talk to, or even spend time with, but at least you're attractive enough to make other men jealous. Enjoy this dinner and try not to say too many stupid things loudly, or else people will realize you're not much of a catch.

Singing Telegram: Hey, we shouldn't see each other any more.