while you're still on the stand

The New York Times, March 28, 2006:
MOUSSAOUI NOW TIES HIMSELF TO 9/11 PLOT
Zacarias Moussaoui, who is facing the death penalty for the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, took the witness stand in his own defense Monday, only to bolster the government's case by unhesitatingly acknowledging the charges in the indictment against him and adding a few new, self-incriminating statements.

EXCERPTS FROM COURT TRANSCRIPT:

Gerald T. Zerkin (defense attorney): You were not supposed to be a 20th hijacker with the men who hijacked the planes on September 11th, isn't that right?

Moussaoui: That is correct.

Zerkin: So you weren't part of that conspiracy.

Moussaoui: I was supposed to fly a plane into the White House.

Zerkin: Uh, I think you mean, um, I mean ... you were supposed to fly this plane into the, uh, White House, as part of a second wave, right?

Moussaoui: No, same wave. Also, I was going to rape someone on the plane and park illegally at the airport on the morning of the attack.

* * *

Robert J. Spencer (chief prosecutor): You lied to an FBI investigator in Minneapolis.

Moussaoui: Did I ever!

Spencer: This was to allow the 9/11 attacks to go forward, to keep them a secret?

Moussaoui: Mostly. But also, I had made an illegal wager with my drug dealer about whether or not I would lie to an FBI agent. I wanted to win that bet.

Spencer: Drug dealer?

Moussaoui: Totally. I met him while scalping tickets to a Pearl Jam concert. He's a good guy. Taught me how to evade taxes.

Zerkin: Objection! This "drug dealer" is not on the witness list.

Moussaoui: That's because I killed him.

Spencer: You had a disagreement?

Moussaoui: Not, it was totally premeditated. You know, first degree murder kind of stuff.

* * *

Zerkin: Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has said that you weren't supposed to be a part of the first wave of attacks.

Moussaoui: He's wrong. I was. I even made plans with Mohammed Atta to hang out the Monday night before. I remember specifically because we were going to videotape the Broncos/Giants game even though we didn't have the express written consent of the NFL commissioner.

* * *

Spencer: You were hoping to fly a plane into the White House in order to kill Americans?

Moussaoui: That is correct, to kill Americans. I used to think about killing Americans all the time while. Especially when I was sitting around bootlegging DVDs, shooting bald eagles, and carrying an ice cream cone in my pocket in Georgia on a Sunday, which, by the way, is illegal.

Zerkin: Objection, your honor. I've looked that up on Snopes.com and it's not really illegal.

Judge Brinkema: Sustained.

Moussaoui: Did I mention it was stolen ice cream?