they might be brazen giants

The Washington Post, May 15, 2006:
BUSH SET TO SEND GUARD TO BORDER
President Bush tried to ease the worries of his Mexican counterpart yesterday as he prepared for a nationally televised address tonight unveiling a plan to send thousands of National Guard troops to help seal the nation's southern border against illegal immigrants.

Coyotes -- illegal smugglers who offer to transport aliens for a fee -- suggest that there will still be ways to get their clients across the border.

1. Dig an underground tunnel from Mexico to Canada, then walk into U.S.A. by crossing less stringently guarded northern border.
2. Using an Acme Fish Suit, dress up like a large sea bass and swim into the ocean. Be caught on the hook of an American fisher, and allow him to take you into his home. Just before you are gutted and cooked, remove the costume and run away.
3. Begin training as a pole vaulter. Become very good at it, to the point where you can jump over the highest walls using only a long stick to assist you. Then join the Mexican Olympic team and travel to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. After winning a gold medal, hide yourself in the suitcase of an American athlete.
4. Reverse the signs at the border so it looks like Mexico is the U.S. and the U.S. is Mexico. As thousands of Americans flee towards Mexico in the confusion, you can slip into the U.S. -- nobody will stop you because they'll think you're sneaking into Mexico.
5. Fit yourself into a gasoline cannister. Attach a price tag that says "$1.89 a gallon." Leave yourself in a visible spot near the border. Soon an American will smuggle you into the country and pour you into his SUV. In between when he puts you in the car and when he turns the ignition, climb out the gas valve.