slow earner

A very small portion of the Internet was abuzz last week when a user claiming to be Thomas Pynchon posted a blurb to the description of his forthcoming book on Amazon.com. When the blurb disappeared the next day, readers wondered whether it had actually been submitted by the reclusive Pynchon, or was a hoax along the lines of the Wanda Tinasky letters. Pynchon has since been confirmed as the blurb's author, and his book, Against the Day will be released in December.

In the meantime, eager-eyed web readers have found these other pieces they wish to attribute to Mr. Pynchon, who, in addition to the major novels V., Gravity's Rainbow, and Mason & Dixon, has previously authored liner notes for indie rock band Lotion and offered notes on the script of an episode of "The John Laroquette Show."

eBay: Seller's description of Cuisinart 480z 6 Speed 500Watt Blender (Condition: Used):
Who sez you can't chop vegetables? Certainly not the next owner of this fine machine. It's a doozy, and at this price, a bargain to boot. Somewhere in the distance you can hear the celery screaming across the refrigerator, but it is too late: the food processing has begun. Don your chef's hat and grab that whisk, boys, folks will enjoy your summer soup, a.k.a. "Gazpacho," your pulverized parsley, and your minced almonds a la mode. Good luck.

Flickr: caption, photograph of wet puppy on a couch:
The dog sits on the sofa. Some would call it a love seat or sectional. The chair doesn't much care either way, and the emotions of its visitors have little effect on the wood, the wool, and the springs inside, this piece of furniture having seen far more in its lifetime than most of its guests could imagine. It remembered a night in Mexico City...

Us Magazine website, user comment, blog entry: Whose Video is Hotter - Ashlee's or Jessica's?:
[excerpt] ...quite as sleezy, what?" Dorita Coolranch answered with a flick of her wrist. "But you have to admit her latest video is better." The clock struck fourteen and the gong commenced its vibration. "C'mon, Ernie, lets get going," Dorita said. Ernest "Camp" Hayvurn chucked his bottle and grabbed for his guitar. To the Sailor's Moon Cafe, then... CHAPTER 4: IN WHICH ASHLEE GETS A NOSE JOB: Schoenmaker first made two incisions, one on either side through the internal lining of the nose, near the septum at the lower border of the side cartilage...